Does it ever feel like LiveJournal is twitter?




sometimes.

AHH. Oh. my. gosh:

So, I decide to go for a midnight snow walk to the park, right? (I mean, that snow is some kind of beautiful -- so sparkly and shit). Anyways, on my way to the park, I walk across a phone mostly buried in the snow. I pick it up, and try to decide what the best "good samaritan" thing to do is. I tried to turn it on, but it doesn't work. So, I just leave it out more conspicuously so that when the owner looks for it, he/she can easily find it.

But then, on my way back, it occurs to me that I'm not that tech savvy when it comes to phones, and I was probably pushing the wrong button to turn it on. I was right. So, I pick it up and decide to contact someone in their address book and go the extra mile to return it. I go to the first text message in this kid's inbox, which is his mom. The message she left was "u makin' a snowman?" So I reply that I found the phone in the snow and can she help me get it back to its owner. To this she replies, "Bobby u r funny! I was teasing about making a snowman." Apparently, she thought he son was pretending the snowman was texting her back. So I replied, "umm, I'm not a snowman! I'm a girl, trying to help get this phone back to its owner.

She ends up calling me. When I answer, she goes, "Please put Bobby on the phone." I have to spend the next five minutes convincing her that I don't know who Bobby is, that Bobby is not playing a trick on her, and could she please help me to get his phone back. Finally she tells me to call his other friends or mail it to her in Oklahoma (I'm pretty sure he lives in my neighborhood). But I get her address and before we hang up she says, "If you really are one of Bobby's friends, then you tell him "good one. He got me good". I chuckle, and reiterate that I have no idea who her son is.

I don't particularly think that this whole exchange is all that great a trick on someone's mom, if that's what it really were.

Anyways, I go to the next text message which is "Jon Cell". This is probably not the best text to reply to, but I didn't read it all the way through before replying. This is what the original text (to bobby) said from this "Jon Cell": "U know me n titus r coo. u need to get ur mind right nigga*.if im a cop titus would be to dumbass lol i swear yall niggas* r stupid"

So, yeah. I probably shouldn't have responded to that one. One of the guys in that scenario is obviously a drug dealer.

We kind of have a back and forth before Jon finally writes: "Put it like this if bobby really lost his phone, he did it on purpose. is the model phone a piece of shit if it is then thats the case"

And that was that. Well, I said I'd just throw it back in the snow. But I'll probably text someone else (a girl maybe). Yikes. What did I get myself into??



*ew, I hate typing any of that. It turns my stomach, even if it's a slang abbv.

I'm rusty. I haven't written anything longer than a facebook status in a long time. BUT...I thought I'd get this initial post out of the way, and maybe I'll start posting again. I kind of miss it. Plus, having no job really frees up a lot of time and I'm running out of things to do.

so it finally kind of snowed today. I always get this weird mix of feelings when it starts to snow. When I first realize it's snowing, I get super excited - kid excited. I get flashes of snow ball fights, building forts in the snow and (of course) sledding. I still want to turn on the TV and watch until I see the name of my county for school closings. Before I do, though, I remember I'm 28 and not in school anymore (sort of). and then I remember that I still have to work, and now I'm going to have to scrape off my car and leave extra early. and though that isn't as fun as snow forts, I still can't help smiling and bouncing around my house like a five year old. the worst part about when it snows is that i get this anxious feeling that I'm gonna waste it. that I'm not going to take full advantage of its snowiness. i can't just live my normal life, have a normal day...it's snowing! dammit! but then I go to work. because I have to work. and then I go to my next job. because I need to do that too. then i'm really tired, so I go home because I worked all day. even though it's saturday. and I lay on the couch under a blanket because my house gets really cold and my nose is running. and the brightness of the street lamps on the snow outside my window mixes with the lights slowly dimming in and out on my christmas tree and I can't decide if i'm really comfy and cozy or if my house just seems really quiet.

so, today I had to write a witness letter for my friend in Seattle with the douchebag boyfriend (who i wrote about summer 2006...). He's such a dick. He's always been a dick, but recently he started hitting my friend (they have a child together). The first time he hit her was when they were trying to set up a TV and he got frustrated. The second time was recently. They were hanging out with friends (their son was with my friend's mom) and he got really drunk and started getting lewd and then rambunctious. He accidentally hurt her while trying to be playful, and she went upstairs for a bit to compose herself. This pissed him off and he decided they were leaving, so he started yelling and her, grab her by the hair and started dragging out of the house (ripping out a chunk of her hair). then he started hitting her. his friends intervened, and he started hitting them. so, yeah, she's finally filing charges and leaving for good. and I just wrote a witness letter for the things I witnessed that summer. this is just crazy. I never would've predicted this back when we were carefree freshmen at UW. sigh....

i haven't posted in a long time. i keep meaning to, I keep forgetting.

i accidentally saw two ducks get it on tonight. It all started with a pleasant walk along the waterfront at dusk. I was getting ready to eat dinner, but I was on the phone, so I thought I'd walk over by the water and relax until I'd finished my conversation. I leaned on a rail overlooking the lake and next to some chairs where a woman and her son were sitting. As I talked, I noticed this fat duck sort of slide itself on top of a much smaller duck. I thought this was amusing, and didn't see anything sexual in it at first because I had never thought of birds mounting one another. In fact, tonight was much like the night where a child finds out that there is no stork. When I realized I was watching duck sex, I gasped and looked to the lady on the chair. We gave each other knowing glances with expressions of slight exasperation and a hint of being intrigued. yes, all that. Soon, the duck on top starts grabbing the feathers on the ducklady's head (much like someone would grab a person's hair in a rear entry position...just to give you the visual). The feather grabbing kept getting more violent and intense until it stopped completely. Then the fat boyduck slowly rolled to the side of ladyduck. With that, she got up and he followed her to the water to rinse off and cool down leaving behind, however, a puddle duck love juice...on the sidewalk...as well as drips leading to the lake. At this, I gasped even more and probably yelled, "oh my god, that is disgusting." The mother on the chair reacted similarly, although she kept waving at someone across the street to hurry up and come over (so as not to miss the xxx-rated duck show, I guess). Anyways, my first time seeing duck "parts" and such. It was horrifying a beautiful act of nature. From there I decided on Italian for dinner and ate pasta with a glass of wine outside watching the sunset over the very lake that those ducks washed off their passion.

note: this story also posted on the moxie forums.

So, now I'm a housewife (without the sex). After mopping and vacuuming and dusting and cleaning the bathrooms and taking care of the kids, I actually cooked a casserole. And when I got the call that plans had changed and that they wouldn't be home for dinner, my feelings got a little hurt "I slaved all day..."

I even wore an apron:



...but then they made it home afterall, and even grandma ate my casserole and liked it (and she *never* eats the food that other people cook around here). And all was well. Except that I'm exhausted and still need to work on homework. There aren't enough hours in the day (and I'm awake for all of them).

the fact that the kids are almost sickeningly cute and fun helps me forget that I could be sitting around with tons of freetime, having a social life and whatnot. It's just so strange being so utterly domestic. meeting mom's at kids' gymnastics. organizing school supplies, buying gifts for birthday parties. grocery shopping that doesn't include buying ramen noodles and easymac, but juice boxes and fruitsnacks.

I'm looking forward to having my own kids. Though this experience has made me glad I haven't had them yet.

I'm in Orlando, just a few blocks from Disney World. In fact, the town I am staying in was developed by Disney (but later sold). There is still a lake in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head downtown. Last night I drove to Disney World to see a movie.

I'm nannying for some friends of mine. We met about 10 years ago and every so often I work for them (this is the first time as a nanny, though). They are lots of fun and I love spending time with them, so staying with them is a treat. It's nice that I'm also getting paid.

At the house it is my friends, their two kids and grandma (who's 84) and now me. Grandma is really helpful with the whole "discipline" thing. I've nannied before and it's always awkward to have to discipline someone else's kids. They *totally* listen to grandma, though. They're pretty good kids, though, so it hasn't been too much of a problem. They are really fun and pretty respectful/polite. The little boy, who's just turned 3, always says "no, thank you" (though usually when I ask him to pick up his toys or eat dinner. "no, thank you." It's really cute. but I still wish he'd pick up the toys and eat his dinner.

I have weekends off (sort of). I still help out, but my time is more flexible. and I don't have to, but if I'm gonna swim anyways, I might as well bring the kids with me and let their mom get out and run errands and stuff. I've met a few people, but I'm not at the "let's hang out" level yet. But I've only been here a few days. There's a wine and coffee bar close by, so I go there and get a glass of wine and work on homework (I'm writing my comps questions and finishing papers). The last time I was there, I just ended up talking to people the whole time, which was pretty fun. I accidentally stayed a half hour past close chatting with the bartender. I've got to make a social life anyway I can.

Next weekend, we're going to Daytona Beach. And the weekend after that an old friend of mine will be in Tampa, so I'm gonna go spend the day with her. Small world...

During my days, I'm with the kids a lot, so I get starved for adult conversation (I get that more in the evenings ...or sometimes during the day with kid interruptions). I end up checking facebook, the moxie forums, livejournal and myspace more often than I already did. But I'm thinking about taking an internetz break. Kind of like a sabbatical away from everything. I mean, I'm already in Florida, I might as well take a real break from my day to day life. We'll see, though.

So, I got a new car yesterday (07 Jetta Wolfsburg edition) and also traded my honda to the dealer (which was kinda sad...i didn't realize how attached i'd gotten to that car. but don't get me wrong. the new car is nice. I just hope it can fill the big tires my honda left behind. I've already started talking to it. My mom was in the car. She talked back as if she were the car making hand motion mouths in front of the dashboard. I'd like to explain this by saying that we were on drugs. We weren't. We're just weird.)

Car Story: BACKGROUND
Anyways, there was a whole debacle selling my car because it was previously my dad's, but he had signed it over to me, but I never got it retitled (lazy) and so we had to go down to the dmv and get a temporary Florida title in my name so the dealer can resell it. It was amazing...there was *no* wait at the DMV. We sat down and were being helped by this really nice lady. But we didn't have VIN verification, so we had to go back to the dealer, have him sign some stuff and then try again. When we got back to the DMV, we had to take a number, wait, and then sit down with a new (grumpy-looking) lady to help us.

DMV INCOMPETENT BITCH
We give the lady all of our paperwork (which is in order). She types away at her little computer and informs us that the title we have is not the latest title. That another was issued in '99. This, of course, was not true. We've only had the one title. I know, because I was the one too lazy to go get a new one. We tried to communicate this to her, but she just kept insisting. She said that a new title meant a new title number, and so she could not process our stuff. We recommended calling WA (where my car is titled). She spent almost a half hour talking on the phone and only managed to get them to fax over an information sheet explaining what the dates on a title refer to. This was not helpful. My dad, sitting next to me, is starting to get irritated. Mostly because the lady behind the counter keeps insinuating that we were involved in some kind of racket. Obviously we're trying to put one over on the car dealership, and the states of Florida and Washington. My dad even started dropping the "I'm retired Secret Service." She was not impressed.

MORE INCOMPETENCE
IN FACT, she holds up the paperwork and says something to the effect of "there's nothing I can do." This is where I jumped in: "You don't understand," I said, "we are getting this title one way or another. we've already sold the car. We aren't leaving without this taken care of." She then got that look that incompetent, lazy, unhappy people get when they actually have to do any sort of work. Basically, the only issue was that she had a date that showed up on her computer that was different from the date on the title. Easy course of action: call WA, tell them the date discrepancy, find out if there's another title, have them fax written proof that the title we had was, indeed, the only title. My dad then asked if she could call from a place that he could also speak to them (before she went off to another room). She made him call from his own phone. He talked to the guy. The guy confirmed the title number we had was correct. No prob. The lady, however, was still caught up on the date & didn't know how to just ask them to fax over something that verifies what he was telling us. We finally had to ask him to do it.

(side note: while my dad was talking to the WA guy, he needed to talk to bitch lady, so he hands her his phone, which she reluctantly takes with an irritated manner, and then holds it with two fingers away from her ear. Then, after she gives it back, she makes a show of using hand sanitizer. So, after she had me sign documents, and before we left, I asked her if I could use some of her hand sanitizer).

THE ALMOST END
When we entered the DMV, our service number was 32. By the time the lady finally went to get the faxed info and started processing the new title, they were calling number 85. I wanted to punch this lady in the face. My dad (who's now a minister) leaned over and whispered, "man, she's kind of a bitch, isn't she." Yes, dad. Yes she is.

We left, dropped off the paperwork, went to the marina, took the boat out on the ocean (which was awesome), got caught in a bad thunderstorm, had to dock and wait it out (on the boat), finally made it home and ate spaghetti and had much deserved wine.

THE END